Tobacco Tyrants Turn Attention To Salt

Columnist Walter Williams has an article about the Salt Police in which he says, “What the anti-tobacco zealots established is that government had the right to forcibly control our lives if it was done in the name of protecting our health. . . . America’s tyrants have now turned their attention to salt.”

Food Police Bust Store for Giving Free Coffee & Donuts

The food police busted the B & B Do it Center in Camarillo, California, for giving customers free coffee and donuts in the morning.  Owner Ty Brann says the business had been giving the free stuff for over 15 years.  Recently a customer complained to the Ventura County food police and B & B was ordered to cease and desist unless the business installed stainless-steel sinks with hot and cold water and a kitchen to handle the food.  For those of you living in Ventura County, you can sleep well at night knowing that the Ventura County Environmental Health Division is on duty 24/7 (well maybe 7/5 due to budget cut backs) making sure that nobody in the county dies or suffers serious injury from any unlicensed black market distributor of free coffee and donuts who preys on the unsuspecting and dumb citizens of the county.

Hey Ventura County food police, what about all the school bake sales and the other businesses that lack stainless-steel sinks with hot and cold water and a kitchen to handle the food?  I can sense a need for the Ventura County Environmental Health Division to hire a ton of new people to enforce the county health laws and shut down all the other scofflaws like B & B Do it Center.

Man Injured by Flying Hot Dog Sues Kansas City Royals

The Associated Press reports that a man sued the Kansas City Royals baseball team claiming that he was injured when the team’s mascot, Sluggerrr, threw a hot dog into the stands that hit him in the eye.  The plaintiff is asking for damages exceeding $25,000.  Clearly Sluggerrr should have cut the hot dog into pea-sized pieces before throwing it into the stands, which is what the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends.  See “Food Police’s Next Target – Hot Dogs.”  See also “Dog-Flinging Mascot Blamed for Eye Injury.”  Here’s the plaintiff’s complaint.  I am sure there are some people who would say that Sluggerrr would not have throw the dangerous missile and the injury would not have occurred if the hot dog had a warning label on it that said, “do not throw hot dog at fans at a baseball game – could cause injury.”

Food Police’s Next Target – Hot Dogs

The nutters have a new scare they want us to be aware of – hot dogs.   The Associated Press reports that the American Academy of Pediatrics wants the federal food police to make “sweeping changes in the way food is designed and labeled to minimize children’s chances for choking.”  Even though hot dog makers put warning labels on their packaging, it’s not enough for those who want to run our lives.  The AP story says over 100 children under 14 die from choking on food.  Hello!  Yes, people can choke to death if they swallow food the wrong way.  Every adult, teenager and child over four who is of sound mind knows that you can choke if food “goes down the wrong way.”

The American Academy of Pediatrics says the dangerous food items include hot dogs, grapes, carrots and apples.  It warns parents to cut these foods in little pieces the size of peas.  The AAP would ban giving popcorn, marshmallows, hard candies and peanuts to young children.  Note to AAP:  Don’t forget to warn that the child should only eat one pea-sized bite at a time – stuffing ten pea-sized bites into the mouth at one time could be dangerous.  This raises the medical and scientific question of how many pea-sized food items can a young child safely put in his or her mouth at once?  Is it only one or maybe three?  Does the answer depend on the age or sex of the child and the capacity of the mouth cavity?  Can you smell the need for the federal government to give multi-billion dollar grants to research an answer?

The AAP also wants the Food and Drug Administration to recall dangerous food items, including items that are dangerous because of their shape.  The story says that suckers that are flat are safer than suckers that are round.  Are you listening Tootsie Roll Pops?  Here come the trial lawyers making America safe for lollipop lovers.  Will Tootsie Roll Industries, Inc., be the defendant in a class action law suit because of the shape of its suckers?

See “Surely You Must Be Choking” in which the author states:

sidewalks are tripping hazards, and puddles are slipping hazards, and trees are bumping-int0 hazards. The minute you decide to get up off the floor and sit on a chair (falling hazard) or couch (fire hazard) or go out the door (big, wide world-hazard) you are taking your life into your hands.

Real LA Food Police Target Mobile Food Vendors

The Los Angeles police have apparently eliminated crime in their jurisdiction because they now devote a lot of man/woman police hours to busting mobile food vendors who sell from vehicles.  I can’t wait until NBC makes a one hour TV series about the LAPD food police called FIU, short for Food Investigation Unit.  I’d like to see Megan Fox as an undercover food cop doing stings on unsuspecting mobile food perps.  Will the LAPD target mobile lemonade stands or school bake sales next?

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