Warning: Sharp Thing May Cut Hand

Forbes:  “Should swords carry warning labels? . . . Here’s a case report describing a recent Personal injury action in which the defendants failed to warn the plaintiff that playing with a sharp sword displayed in its store would result in the plaintiff slicing his hand when he attempted to place it back in its sheath.”

Apple Sued Because iPad Doesn’t Work Just Like a Book

More proof there are too many lawyers in the U.S.  A California law firm filed a class action lawsuit (Baltazar vs. Apple) against Apple claiming that Apple has done a whole lot of bad things with respect to its iPad.  Here are some choice portions of the complaint:

“according to the www.apple.com website, ‘[r]eading on iPad is just like reading a book.’ However, contrary to this promise, using the iPad is not ‘just like reading a book’ at all since books do not close when the reader is enjoying them in the sunlight or in other normal environmental environments. This promise, like other portions of APPLE’s marketing material for the iPad, is false.”

“Specifically, the iPad does not live up to the reasonable consumer’s expectations created by APPLE insofar as the iPad overheats so quickly under common weather conditions that it does not function for prolonged use either outdoors, or in many other warm conditions, for a variety of common uses such as, but not necessarily limited to, an e-reader, email tool, web browser and/or game/entertainment unit.”

“nowhere in any of APPLE’s advertising materials which market the iPad to consumers does APPLE mention that the iPad is virtually unusable when sitting in particular environmental conditions (e.g., in direct sunlight in connection with virtually any ambient air temperature) since it turns off, sometimes after just a few minutes of use.”

“Class Members were misled into purchasing the iPad, unjustly enriching Defendant at the expense of these consumers.”

Is it possible that any purchaser of an iPad believed the iPad was just like a book?  The complaint alleges the following causes of action:

  1. Fraud
  2. Negligent misrepresentation
  3. Deceptive advertising practices
  4. Violation of the California Consumers Legal Remedies Act (California Civil Code §1750, et seq.)
  5. Unfair business practices under the California Unfair Competition Act (California Business & Professions Code §§ 17200-17208)
  6. Breach of express warranty
  7. Breach of implied warranty
  8. Intentional misrepresentation
  9. Breach of Song-Beverly Consumer Warranty Act (California Civil Code § 1790, et seq.)
  10. Unjust enrichment

Turkey Thiefs Win $4.25 Million in Lawsuit Against Turkey that Owned the Turkeys

Ralph Dupps’ pet turkeys bugged his neighbors, Robert and Jennifer Klippel.  The Klippels birdnapped the turkeys and set them free in a wildlife preserve.  Dupps filed a police complaint and had the Klippels arrested for petit larceny.  The Klippels spent about ten hours in jail.  Naturally, being good American citizens who have been born and raised in our litigious society, the Klippels did what comes naturally and sued Dupps for a whole bunch of stuff.  A court just awarded the Klippels $4.25 million!  More proof that we live in a wonderful country where litigation is always the answer to every problem.  Good luck collecting the judgment.

Moral of the story:  A bird stolen from the hand is worth $4.5 million – to the thief.

15 of the Most Ridiculous Celebrity Lawsuits

Pop Crunch:  “Whether they are the plaintiffs or defense, celebrities are consistently entertaining when they become involved in legal matters. Although basically any lawsuit involving a celebrity is guaranteed to be entertaining, not all cases are created equal. Here are 15 of the most ridiculous celebrity lawsuits of all time.”  The cases summarized in the story are:

  • Courtney Love vs. American Express
  • Lindsay Lohan vs. E-Trade
  • Elvis Presley Enterprise vs. Some Psycho
  • Johnny Carson vs. Here’s Johnny Portable Toilets
  • Elizabeth Taylor vs. Her Gardener
  • Steven Seagal vs. Kayden Nguyen
  • Allen Heckard vs. Michael Jordan and Phil Knigh
  • Evelyn Lozada vs. Vanessa Davis
  • Sacha Baron Cohen vs. Richelle Olson
  • Anne Burrell vs. Her Former Employees
  • Miley Cyrus vs. Asian-Pacific Islanders
  • Carrie Prejean vs. The Miss USA Pageant
  • Men At Work vs. The Guy Who Wrote the “Kookaburra” Song
  • Neil Young vs. David Geffen
  • Ron Livingston vs. Some Nerd on Wikipedia

California Legislature Approves Paying Jaycee Lee Dugard $20 Million, but Why?

Sacramento Bee on California paying 20 year kidnap victim Jaycee Dugard $20 million:  “Without question, what Jaycee Dugard endured is beyond comprehension, but it should be patently obvious that California taxpayers weren’t responsible for what happened to her. It’s not our fault she was kidnapped, brutalized, raped and enslaved. Yet we’re paying the fine.”

Litigating the Number of Men vs. Women in College Sports: The Ongoing Folly of Title IX

Minding the Campus:  “Connecticut’s Quinnipiac College, best known for its political polling, is now at the center of the newest round in the controversy over Title IX and women’s sports. In a trial that opened last week, a federal judge must decide whether competitive cheerleading should count as a sport for gender equity purposes. The case illustrates the complexities — and some would say, the inanities — of the debate over gender and college athletics.”

Appeals Court Rules against Plano Principals in Candy Cane Case

Dallas News:  “Two Plano school principals violated students’ constitutional rights if they confiscated Christian-themed materials, including candy cane pens, that students planned to hand out at school, an appeals court has said.  The 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals in New Orleans ruled Wednesday that the principals could be held liable for taking away the items.”