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The Trunk Monkey

Obama Replaces Costly High-Speed Rail Plan With High-Speed Bus Plan

The Onion reports on the new proposed nationwide high-speed bus system.

Obama Replaces Costly High-Speed Rail Plan With High-Speed Bus Plan

Man Says Weed In Buttocks Is His, Cocaine’s Not

Hollywood can never create stories are bizarre as real life events.  Cop stops dude and smells marijuana.  Cop searches dude and finds a bag of weed in dude’s crack plus 27 pieces of rock cocaine.  Dude admits the pot is his but says he is not the owner of the cocaine.

Man Sues Lawyer for $38 Quadrillion – Whatever that Is?

A man who sued a lawyer’s client for $918 billion also sued the lawyer for $38,000,000,000,000,000 – that’s $38 quadrillion for those of us that are big number challenged.  This case might give us the answer to the legal question:  Is a quadrillion more or less than a zillion?  If he wins, I [...]

New York Insanity – 8.8% Tax on Sliced Bagels & No Tax on Unsliced Bagels

New York Post:  “Only Albany could find a way to tax a cut.  The cash-strapped state has been enforcing a bizarre distinction in the tax laws which requires delis and food peddlers to impose a levy on sliced bagels — even though there is no tax when the breakfast staple is sold whole.”

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Man Arrested for OSWI – Operating Stroller While Intoxicated

A man pushing his two kids in a stroller was charged by police for “child endangering and intoxication.”  A court found the man guilty as charged.  My fear is that this case will unleash a new wave of OSWI lawyers and OSWI ads on TV and the sides of buses.

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15 of the Most Ridiculous Celebrity Lawsuits

Pop Crunch:  “Whether they are the plaintiffs or defense, celebrities are consistently entertaining when they become involved in legal matters. Although basically any lawsuit involving a celebrity is guaranteed to be entertaining, not all cases are created equal. Here are 15 of the most ridiculous celebrity lawsuits of all time.”  The cases summarized in the [...]

The Dangers of Falling Trucks – More Government Regulation Needed Plus Media Needs to Educate the Public

Another reason why we need more government regulation and the media to scare educate us about dangers that can kill and injure.  Until I watched this video, I want ignorant of the dangers imposed by falling tanker trucks that contain gasoline.

Truck Accident That Killed Rafters in Canyon Sparks Truck-Canyon-Rafter [...]

More Evidence that the American Education System Gets an F for Not Educating Americans

I love Jay Leno’s “Jaywalking” where he goes on the street and asks people simple questions about the United States.  It’s funny, but very sad.  Americans can tell you who won American Idol, but don’t have a clue about the history of our great country.  This video is about the 4th of July [...]

Lawnmower Driver Stopped for DUI Gets Tasered by Cop

If you are driving a lawnmower while intoxicated, this video confirms that it is best to follow the cop’s instructions and not try to to make a low speed getaway on the mower.

EMBED-Hillybilly On Riding Mower Tasered – Watch more free videos

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English Fish Police Bust Great-Granny for Selling Goldfish to a Minor

Telegraph:  “A great-grandmother has been ordered to wear an electronic tag for breaching new animal welfare laws by selling a goldfish to a 14 year-old boy.  Joan Higgins, a pet shop owner, was caught selling the fish to the teenager in a ‘sting’ operation by council officials. She was then prosecuted in an [...]

Idiotic Congressman Worries that Sending More Marines to Guam May Cause the Island to Tip Over

More proof that we are doomed – Democrat congressman Hank Johnson in a Congressional hearing asked a Navy admiral if sending 8,000 Marines and their families to the island of Guam would cause the island to tip over and capsize.  The astounding question is captured on a video that will probably go viral.  [...]

Farter Charged with Felony Assault

The next time you are in close proximity with another person and you get the urge to pass gas, don’t do it.  Brian Bruggeman had the urge and let it rip, but his cellmate Jesse Dorris did not appreciate the aroma.  Jesse started a fight with Brian and now Brian has been charged [...]

If Your Bank Mistakenly Puts $230,000 in Your Account – Give it Back

Anchorage Daily News:  “When more than $230,000 was mistakenly deposited in an Anchorage fisherman’s bank account, he didn’t waste any time taking care of the error, according to Alaska State Troopers. . . . a brand new 2010 Chevrolet Camaro SS . . . was on his way to Florida, troopers said.  But [...]

Feds Studying if Cosmic Rays are Causing Toyota’s Acceleration Problems – Yes, Really

Here’s a perfect example of why the United States should have as few government workers/bureaucrats as possible.  Freep.com has a story called “Are cosmic rays really causing Toyota’s woes?“  The story says, “It may sound far-fetched, but federal regulators are studying whether sudden acceleration in Toyotas is linked to cosmic rays.”  If cosmic [...]

Momma’s Grab Your Kids the Stripper Mobile is Back on Tampa’s Streets

Watch out Tampa, Florida, the stripper mobile is coming back.  A strip club called Déjà Vu got some heat a while back when it unleashed a mobile strip show on wheels.  After working with authorities, the club thinks it has made adjustments that will allow the club to hit the road again in [...]

New York Subway Seat Police Nail Perp for Using Two Seats on an Empty Train

New York’s finest are sworn to uphold the law and by golly that is what they will do regardless of whether it makes any sense or is the right thing to do.  After midnight two men were riding on a nearly empty train when a seat cop boarded the train and ordered the [...]

Cartoon Network Had More Viewers than CNN & MSNBC

For the week of 3/8/10 to 3/14/10, the cable TV network rankings were: 1 USA , 2 Fox News, 3 TBS, 4 TNT, 5 History Channel, 13 Cartoon Network, 26 MSNBC and 30 CNN.  Maybe the executives at MSNBC and CNN should change their formats to cartoons to get higher ratings and more ad revenue.  [...]

Lender Demands Borrower Pay $0 or Lender Will Foreclose on Home

CitiMortgages sent a certified mail letter to a borrower that said it would foreclose on the borrower’s home unless he immediately paid $0.00.  The letter said, “”To cure the default you must pay the the past due amount of $0.00, including $0.00 in late charges and $0.00 in delinquency related expenses.”  I hope [...]

Bike Police Cite Drunken Bicycler for BUI – Biking Under the Influence

Oregon Live.com reports that the Oregon State Police, also known as the bike police, found an unconscious man laying on a public highway near his crashed bicycle.  The bike police cited him for driving a bike under the influence of alcohol or BUI.

Swiss to Vote on Giving Animals Legal Rights, Including the Right to Have a Government Lawyer if the Animal Cannot Afford One

Tomorrow the citizens of Switzerland will vote on whether to give all Swiss animals increased legal rights, including the right to be represented by an attorney.  I’m not kidding!  Switzerland currently gives  its animals more protections that perhaps any other country in the world.  If the referendum passes, all of Switzerland’s cantons (territorial [...]

Law Professor With Too Much Free Time Writes Scholarly Law Review Article on Middle Finger Law

Finally we have a law review article about a legal issue that might interest lay people.  Ira P. Robbins, the Barnard T. Welsh Scholar and a Professor of Law and Justice, at the Washington College of Law of American University published an article in the University of California, Davis Law Review called “Digitus [...]

Tampa Devoid of Crime so Police Arresting People Wearing Clown Masks in Public

The Tampa, Florida, law enforcement agencies must not have enough crime because they recently arrested a teenage boy for walking along a public highway while wearing a clown mask.  A sheriff’s deputy spotted the perp and followed him for a while until backup from the Tampa police department arrived to help make the [...]

1995 Newsweek Article Completely Wrong on Its Predictions About the Internet

Clifford Stoll, author of “Silicon Snake Oil–Second Thoughts on the Information Highway” wrote an article published in Newsweek in which he makes a lot of predictions about the internet that are completely wrong.  It’s funny now to read about the things he said would never happen on the internet, but which have happened [...]

13 Strange Taxes

Shrinkage is Good describes thirteen weird taxes from around the world.  They are: witchcraft, weird baby names, cow flatulence, playing cards, forced smoking, tax-exempt sex toys, urine, hats, beards, prostitution, porn, illegal drugs and bribery.

Blimpie Sued for Not Having Double Meat in Its Sandwiches

Forget all the problems in the United States and the world, two crusaders who love to attack windmills are fighting our battles for us.  See the story in Above the Law.  The two plaintiffs sued Blimpie in a class action lawsuit for allegedly skimping on meat in Blimpie sandwiches.  The plaintiffs claim that [...]

So Many Hitler Parody Videos – So Little Time

In 2004, director Oliver Hirschebiegl made a movie in German called “Downfall.”  A lengthy scene from this movie has been used over and over again by people who make subtitles that tell a story quite different than the actual words spoken in German by the actors.  Mr. Hirschbiegel loves that people are using [...]

In Pictures: 15 Laughable Warning Labels

Forbes has a collection of pictures of funny warning labels actually found on products.

U.S. Patent & Trademark Office Cannot Accept Up-side Down Faxes – No Joke

More from the we are doomed department.  The other day the Department of Justice placed an ad seeking 10 trial lawyers who are mentally retarded.  See “U.S. Department of Justice Seeks to Hire Mentally Retarded Trial Lawyers for Voting Division.”  Maybe the DOJ could loan one of its newly hired retarded trial lawyers [...]

State of the Union Speech Pivots to Employment Reform

Scrappleface:  “With his health care agenda on the back burner in the wake of Republican Sen.-elect Scott Brown’s election in Massachusetts, President Obama plans to use Wednesday night’s State of the Union address to unveil sweeping employment-reform legislation that would provide a good job to every American regardless of his ability to work, [...]

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